Body hair- friend or foe?

Honestly, I’ve never really given body hair much thought until I was booking an appointment at a local spa for a routine wax when I found myself discussing a friend’s aversion to the “au naturel” look. She recently started to date a new guy and was gushing about the lovey-dovey particulars of her relationship but there was one little problem that was causing her some anxiety. As she put it, he was “a little hairier than most”.

I started thinking, why are we so off put by something that grows freely and naturally on our bodies? When did we start vying the hairless look over good ol’ androgenic hair? Now, don’t get me wrong I prefer the bare feeling, because of both personal preference and aesthetics sake but, was it always this way? If you’ve seen any vintage porn, you DEFINITELY know that’s not the case.

In a world where typing in “body hair” in the Google search bar brings up results for waxes, tweezers, bleaches and trimmers, one wonders when we started placing emphasis on looking hair-free. Body hair is often seen as a masculine feature which leaves some women feeling the pressure to be hairless and perfectly groomed, or risk being labeled a “hippie”- why does that carry a negative connotation?

I’ve even heard of women using body hair as an aversion for hooking up on the first day- being that they’re so uncomfortable with the idea of showing any sort of stubble that they won’t “do the deed” with a guy. This begs me to ask, if a guy is disgusted with the idea of day old leg hair- would I really want to sleep with him anyway?

Body hair is definitely becoming more of a conversation as of late- Emma Watson has openly admitted to caring for her “lady bush” with various oils that promote hair health and boast benefits such as fewer ingrown hairs. Miley Cyrus is also no stranger to letting it grow, and has even gones as far as colouring her armpit hair pink

But with all trends, there seem to be two very polarizing extremes- your “hairy godmother” or obsessing over the stubble. So what’s my take on body hair? I’m a firm believer that you should follow whatever guideline you’re comfortable with; friction-free softness or feeling the wind blow through your hair. Own it, be confident and please shower regularly. Until next time, I’ll be shaving the parts of my legs that aren’t covered by the rips in my worn out skinny jeans.

Body Hair Shame

Image via Pinterest

 

Love & Airplanes

After a rocky breakup and extensive soul searching, I’ve come to the realization that being single has given me a chance to reconnect with the things that I used to love- like running, and reading. It’s not that I lost interest in either, but I tend to have a bad habit of devoting all my time to my significant other without any self-care. There were weeks where I’d neglect seeing my family, working out and even doing day to day chores. I had this over romanticized notion that I had to make the boyfriend my “everything”. I’ve come to realize that in order to care for someone successfully, I have to care for myself first. It’s the same principal as airplane emergency procedures: if you payed attention to the instructional instead of staring down at your iPad, you’d notice that during a drop in pressure you’re to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. Why? Because while the other person is all fine and dandy, you’re nearly suffocating. I have come to believe that the same applies relationships. For now, I’m avoiding airplanes.

When It All Began

Last year, I started my first (and possibly only) experience as a nanny in the Beaches area of Toronto. After my morning commute to work and before I started work at 8:30 am, I would pop into The Bandit Coffee Shop on Gerrard St. to grab morning cup of coffee (loads of milk, no sugar) and killed time by chatting to the baristas. I did this every workday morning, for over a year. I started to share my stories, gave occasional relationship advice, and expressed my opinion on recent pop culture phenomena. Encouraged to write about my experiences; akin to Carrie from “Sex and the City”, I started journaling and collecting my thoughts on various topics such as body shaming and body positivity, “rape culture”, modern day dating and courtship, and awkward encounters on the streetcars of Toronto. After a year of contemplating starting a blog, here we are (with my sincere apologies for any grammatical or syntax errors).

Though it seems like I “know what I’m doing”, don’t be fooled- I’m just as awkward and curious as the next 22 year old girl. If you need any proof, let me tell you about the time I was caught completely speechless and covered in coffee.

It was probably the middle of March. That morning, I had made coffee in a tumbler (an insulated Starbucks thermos with the open spout at the top) before leaving the house and taking my liquid gold to go. It was cold, windy and probably still dark as I hopped onto the 501 streetcar towards Neville Park. At some point during my commute, on walked an older bearded stranger with a crisp navy tailored suit, and a close likeness to Patrick Dempsey- but with more grey hair.  In complete contrast to the rest of the sleepy and distracted passengers, this man commanded attention as he stepped onto the slow moving vehicle- and I gawked as anyone else; man or woman, would. Now for the embarrassing part! Somewhere between finding eye contact and attempting to sip my coffee nonchalantly, I managed to miss the little mouth spout and poured coffee down the front of my face, scarf and (waterproof) coat. Yes, all while maintaining eye contact. Embarrassed, red in the face and now coffee-less, I hurried off of the busy streetcar five stops too soon and walked the rest of the way to work. Needless to say, that probably woke me up more than any cup of coffee every would.

The Formalities

Let’s begin by mentioning that my blog contains adult themes that may make some readers uncomfortable. However, my mission is to take taboo topics and attempt to make them a little easier to digest. This is a positive space that will not tolerate any body shaming, bullying or negativity. Your opinion- regardless of stance, is welcome to create healthy dialogue.

Hello!

To everyone reading this, I’ve finally taken a leap of courage and started a blog (as if everyone and their mothers don’t already have one). This idea started about a year ago when I moved back to Toronto after a failed attempt of living away from familiarity. Call me a creature of habit but I craved the big city feel- people outside at all times of the day, the vibrant energy of the daily hustle and bustle, and the millions of different and interesting people from all walks of life. At that point, I promised myself that I’d embark on a journey of self-discovery, personal growth and the quest to find my happy place. Thought I’m still very much working on all three aspects of that promise, I’ve reached a place where I want to voice my experiences and share the stories that I’ve heard along the way. Thank you in advance for reading and following my humble attempt to shed light into the world of relationships, love and sex from the perspective a 20-something year old girl living in the big city of Toronto, Canada.

Many thanks to the wonderful baristas at The Bandit Coffee Shop for pushing me to start my first blog. Thank you for thinking that my sense of humor and sass should be shared with the world.

(photo from globetrottingdamsel.wordpress.com)